Friday 23 January 2015

Me, Myself and my bike

DEAR READER: I AM MIGRATING like a cute little Canadian goose, to - please visit there for new posts A-THANK-YOU, Saz xxx

Dear friends/family/fans,

Today has been in important day in my personal development. This afternoon, I waddled into town and bought myself a bicycle. I bought my bicycle second hand, and when I bought it, I also bought a bicycle lock (to protect the bicycle) and a helmet (to protect my gorgeous face) and thrown in with the package I got a free bell! My bicycle is pink and white so that everybody who sees me riding it knows I'm a girl. My helmet is blue, because even though my I have a pink bicycle, I'm not girly. My bell as a bunny rabbit on it so I don't get lonely on my long cycle rides!!

I bought my bicycle at the same time as my New Friend. Apparently in Seville there is a massive flea market where you can buy very cheap bicycles that have been stolen off people. I didn't want any bad karma as I've only just arrived in Spain, so we stuck to our morals and went to a real shop where they had all sorts of wonderful bicycles that we assume aren't stolen. After shopping my New Friend cycled home and I had to stay in town. I was too scared to ride my bicycle at that point, so I wheeled it down the street with my blue helmet hanging off the handle and a smile on my face. I propped it up against a wall and took a photo to send to my fans. When I met a friend for coffee, I kept my bicycle close by the table, tucked safely away so nobody could hurt it. I love my new bicycle.

I have really big plans about how good I'm going to be at cycling. Soon I hope to cycle to work - to the shops - to the bars - even back home to England! After coffee I walked it down to the river. By the river there a big green strips painted on the road and these are called bicycle lanes and you're only allowed on them if you are cycling. You can tell because they have pictures of white bicycles painted on them (like my bicycle except mine is white AND pink). (Actually, confusingly, at some points the cycle lanes have pictures of wheelchairs as well, and when you think about it wheelchairs and bikes go at quite different speeds usually). Now I have a bicycle I'm allowed on the cycle lanes too!!! The cycle lanes are smooth and straight, so I put on my cycle helmet and I hoiked my leg over the bike and I put my feet on the pedals and OFF I WENT! Cycling GODDESS!!

I haven't ridden a bike for ages but I remembered exactly what to do because its just like riding a bike! The sun was shining through the trees above me, and glinting against the river, and my hair was streaming behind me in the pleasant Sevillian breeze. Well, it would have been if the helmet hadn't stuck it all to my head. Soon I was practically flying down the cycle lane, a young adventuress soaring through Seville ready to take on the world! I decided to name my bicycle THE DUCHESS because when I was riding her I felt like a royal family member aboard her strong new steed! I was a modern day Knight! When I had to turn a corner, I did it deftly. Deftly! I've never done anything deftly in my life!

As I got closer to home I nearly got hit by a car, so I started walking it again. "This," I thought to myself, "is the first time I've ever really owned something with wheels." (Which isn't technically true but when you're in a romantic mood you just let your mind take you wherever it wants). "Thousands of years ago when men (and women) where hunched in caves somebody invented the WHEEL and we all became MILLIONAIRES!! This is my first vehicle! A doorway into a new world where I laugh at those fools walking around with their feet!" It was so joyful. I spied more of my new friends on their balcony opposite my flat so I marched my bicycle (aka THE DUCHESS) over to show her off and receive compliments.

Now, my new flatmate introduced me to a new approach to life which is thus: when you experience extreme joy and elation, it is shortly followed by depression and anguish. Regular fans will know I've already had a week with limited gas, internet and electricity, so I kind of thought perhaps I got the depressed bit first and now was my time for pure elation! However, this was not to be. Intimate friends of mine will be well acquainted with a really fun quirk of mine where I am able to lose phones at a rate that is so unbelievable people think I'm doing it on purpose. It was just as I was showing off my new bicycle that I realised that, in all the excitement, I had YET AGAIN lost phone.

It's all the bloody bike's fault. If I'd never set eyes on its horrible pink metal body I'd never have lost it, I've been so careful since I lost my last mobile phone 1.5 months ago!!! Why do bad things happen to good people!?!?! Now I'm phoneless and all I have to show for it is a bicycle, which might be able to get me into town a bit quicker but it can't send Snapchats to my friends in England when I wake up with a really impressive amount of double chins, can it!? CAN IT!?

I still like the bike though. OBVIOUSLY I can't post any photos but one thing I will never lose is my artisitc talent and passion for Microsoft Paint! Here and an artist's impression of the bike. I call it "The Duchess on a Sunny Day next to her Blue Helmet"

I didn't draw myself on the bicycle because I'm still crying about my phone.

Well, that's how for now!! And remember kids, you don't need a phone to be happy as long as you've got your health and a positive outlook.
Hasta pronto xx

IMPORTANT INFO if you also want a BIKE:
Where can I buy a bike/hire in Seville for a short term basis?
I got my bicycle from Rebiciclate  (Calle Peris Mencheta) just between Calle Feria and the Alameda de Hercules. If you're only in Seville for a short time (eg. a semester) then you can buy a bike from there and if you keep the receipt, at the end of your trip they will buy it back for half the price you paid. You just have to bloody hope the bike doesn't get stolen. Their cheapest bikes are 60 euros, we got locks for 10 and a helmet for 20. They're very friendly and helpful and they have some beautiful vintage bikes.

For stolen bikes head to the flea markets on other side of the river on Saturdays and Sundays. Its important to get a good bike lock so your bike doesn't get stolen....AND GET A HELMET KIDS!

Highly recommended by many people is the Sevicci bike scheme, where you can get a card and use the public bikes for free for 30 minutes. I chose against this because I might need the bike outside of Seville. :)

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