|Only a few short days ago my brain was filled with nothing but kittens dressed as people...so much has changed :-(|
Whilst googling "Things I wish I'd known before I was a language assistant in Austria" on Monday, I found an in-depth document that The British Council sent us ages ago (and I had completely forgotten about) full of details about Important Forms I am required to fill in for Austria and hand to Important People and policemen and tax men and all sorts of white-collared Austrians! This was quite a shock, as until this point most of my brain power had been focused on:
1. Addressing how I plan to keep my delicate rosy cheeks moisturised in adverse weather conditions
2. Carefully collating a series of attractive, fashion-forward and climate-appropriate outfits.
I was, however, reassured to find that all the forms have to be accompanied by a passport photo, presumably so they can vet out anybody who scores below a 5/10 - proving that, just as I expected and hoped, the Austrians speak the Universal Language of Style.
Cuba is quite different. In order for me to let them in, I actually have to get a VISA. This really grates on me, as I've always regarded my face as the only ID I need. We live in a world where peoples movements are controlled by their paperwork as opposed to their hotness. If that's not cause for revolution, WHAT IS? Not only that, but to get in I have to show them proof that I've already booked myself a flight to leave! Isn't that most unfriendly welcome you've ever heard of!? Despite this I did buy myself TWO Cuba guidebooks on budget-savvy shopping expedition where I made very good use of several end-of-season deals. One details the 'Top Tens of Cuba', including the Top Ten Beaches, Top Ten Historical Figures (Che is numero uno!) (even though he's not Cuban.) and Top Ten Places To Go With Children. (NB: The current plan is that I will have NO CHILDREN in Cuba.)
Trying to come to terms with how much paperwork I had forgotten about did upset me, so I got myself some BARGAINS from Forever 21 (I'm a shopoholic as well as a LOLoholic, okay!?). On the website if you get more than one sale item the SALE PRICE is cut in half! I bought £83 worth of clothes for £23.97 (INCLUDING VAT!). I ordered them at 23:11 on Monday and they arrived Wednesday morning. Even my dad was impressed. I did a little fashion show for the family, if you'd like me to record one and post it as a VLOG, just comment below! I would defo film it to my new fave summer track:
My mum [after the fashion show] said "they'll look nice in Cuba. On a September evening they're quite blindingly bright." She could have been talking about my eclectic choice of neon coloured patterns, or she could have been talking about my blindingly white body which glows like a shiny poltergeist - I like to think she was talking about both <3